Congratulations! Your teen is going to university! Those years of GCSEs and A level exams are a thing of the past. This is a brand new chapter in your life as well as the life of your teen.
At this moment, does it feel a bit surreal? And it doesn’t matter if your teen is going to the local university or miles away!
You have about a month to get used to the idea!
I found planning was useful. The day of departure was too abstract to understand. The feeling isn’t that dissimilar when my children had their first day at school. All of a sudden, that small child who you know what they are doing almost 24 hours per day (and that includes if they go to nursery/child minder), have to learn social skills as well as independent learning. Going to university is really not so different. Really!!
What you can do in the meantime?
What you can do in the meantime is plan. Your teen should soon have confirmation of their Halls of Residence for their first year. What do they need to bring. Duvet (tick). Cushions (tick). Saucepans (tick). Oven gloves (tick). And so the list goes on. We even presented our son with a ‘student’ cook book – which, by the way, he never used. Does your teen need any publications to take with them?
Sort a student bank account!
To be fair, this account should have been sorted courtesy of the student loan. I can’t recommend an account. There are plus and minuses of them all. The interest rate is important. The add ons are a bonus
How are you feeling?
The weird thing is, everyone congratulates you on a job well done! Your teen is going to university! Our son was the first in my side of the family. My grandparents and parents didn’t go to university. I chose not to in the 1980s. My husband did a four year apprenticeship. I am so proud that my son chose to go to university. He was accepted by his first choice university. A good six hour care drive away from home!
It’s ok to focus on how you feel!
It’s so true! This is your child! Ok, I do focus normally that you have a teen. But this is your child. You fed them, wiped their bums, picked them up when they fell over and grazed their knee. Now your child is going to university and be making their own decisions – even down to their shopping choices. It all feels so surreal at the moment. But keep in touch with your feelings.
I found this article very helpful to articulate how it can feel
I am reaching out to you….
I am reaching out to you. Tell me how you are feeling? What plans do you have for the next month? What resilience are you creating for yourself.
“Selfhood begins with a walking away/ And love is proved in the letting go.”
In other words, the Invisible Thread is starting to pull